By Ray Garner | RetireReadyRx

My wife is in Mexico today.

She’s at The Mission Project Cabo Health & Wellness Retreat with Ed Mylett, Rachel Scheer, Inky Johnson, and Erik Rock, soaking up everything she can, probably already thinking about how to apply it to the women she’s working with in Croatia, or her network marketing business, or the next course she’s going to take from Russell Brunson or Tony Robbins, or the next business she will start.

And I’m here, writing about her.

That feels about right.

I want to tell you something that nobody puts in retirement planning guides. One of the most important things that shapes how well you retire has nothing to do with your 401k or your Social Security strategy. It has to do with who you’re doing life with, and whether you’re paying attention to them.

I have been paying attention to LoriAnn for the past 44 years. And retirement has taught me more about her than almost any other season of our life together. Here’s what I’ve learned.

She never stops growing. Ever.

While I was figuring out who I was without my dental practice, LoriAnn was already three steps ahead building something new. She’s been taking courses, expanding her network marketing business, developing a 34-week curriculum to teach the laws of business to women in Croatia, and showing up to conferences with some of the most driven people in the world.

Watching her does three things to me simultaneously. It inspires me. It challenges me. And if I’m being honest, it intimidates me a little.

Because here is a woman who has every reason to coast. She raised five children. She worked as an x-ray tech and a mammographer for years while I was in dental school. She managed our household through more hard seasons than I can count. If anyone has earned the right to sit back and relax, it’s her.

And she does relax. That’s actually one of the things I’ve watched her do that I needed to learn. She knows how to completely let go and be present when it’s time to rest. But when she’s not resting, she is going absolutely full on. There’s no half speed with LoriAnn. She’s either recharging or she’s building something that matters.

That combination has been one of the biggest lessons of my retirement. Rest is not the same as giving up. But purpose is not optional either.

She gives me direction without pushing me.

LoriAnn has never once told me what to do with my retirement. But she’s constantly dropping ideas in my path; things she thinks might interest me, opportunities she’s noticed, people she thinks I should meet.

She doesn’t force anything. She just opens doors and lets me walk through them at my own pace. That’s a particular kind of love that I don’t think I fully appreciated until I needed it most. When your identity has just walked out the door with your career, having someone who believes in your potential without pressuring you is more valuable than almost anything else.

If your spouse is doing that for you, pay attention. They’re seeing something in you that you might not be able to see yet in yourself.

She keeps us anchored in faith.

This is the one I’m most grateful for.

Faith has always been central to our lives. But during the transition into retirement — when I was wrestling with who I was and what I was supposed to do next, LoriAnn was the one who kept reminding me to pray, to study scripture, to fast, to show up to church even when I didn’t feel like it.

We pray together. We express gratitude for what we have. We ask for specific guidance and then we wait for answers. And here’s what I’ve learned after decades of doing this together: the answers come. Not always the answer we wanted. Not always the answer we expected. But always an answer.

There have been times when LoriAnn reminded me to be grateful when all I could see was what was missing. That is no small thing. Gratitude is the antidote to the kind of quiet despair that can creep into retirement if you let it. That feeling that your best days are behind you, that your contribution is finished, that the world has moved on without you.

It hasn’t. But you have to choose to believe that. And sometimes you need someone beside you to remind you.

What this means for you

I don’t know what your marriage looks like. I don’t know if you have a LoriAnn in your life or if this chapter of retirement feels like you’re navigating it mostly alone.

But I want to offer this regardless of your situation.

Pay attention to the people around you who are still growing. Let them challenge you. Let them inspire you. Let them open doors for you even when you’re not sure you’re ready to walk through them. Surround yourself with people that are on a higher level.

And stay connected to something bigger than yourself. Whether that’s faith, community, service, or purpose — retirement without an anchor drifts. I’ve seen it. I’ve felt it myself.

LoriAnn is my anchor. I don’t take that lightly. And I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the woman who walked into the hardest possible start to a marriage with me more than 40 years ago is the same woman who is still, today, showing me what it looks like to live fully.

I’m still learning from her. I hope I always am.

Got someone in your life who has shaped how you’re navigating retirement? I’d love to hear about them in the comments.

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